Last week, the debate team at my school participated a virtual tournament. In doing so, they adjusted the settings on my flat panel, and I could not figure out how to fix them.
Not a big deal, right? I just walked down the hall to ask a colleague how to fix it. He pressed one button, and voila! All was well.
Except…this brought me to tears. After I thanked my colleague, I found myself sitting on the floor of my classroom crying big, ugly tears, ruining the mascara I had put on not forty minutes previous.
Thankfully, it was early, and no one was around, so I didn’t have to manage caring students and colleagues who wanted to help but didn’t really know what to do.
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The Great Lie
Sitting there, feeling a little ridiculous for sobbing over something so insignificant, I would have laughed if I hadn’t been so busy crying.
Because up to that point, I thought I’d been doing okay. By no means was I doing great, but I thought, for the circumstances, I was fine. I’d been going to sleep at an appropriate time, staying off of social media, and exercising regularly. I was fine, right?
My early morning meltdown disabused me of that notion.
You see, I’d fallen for the greatest lie about teacher self-care. Somewhere along the line, I’d been told or learned that teacher self-care is simple. And that cannot be farther from the truth.
Teacher self-care is tricky. How do you navigate all your responsibilities as a teacher while juggling all your responsibilities as a spouse / parent / child / voter / entrepreneur / pet owner / friend ? And how do you do all of that while also avoiding counterproductive emotions like shame, guilt, and fear?
I don’t know. I’m not a doctor or a mental health specialist, but I think it all starts with the acceptance of those emotions. I’m afraid of coronavirus. And I’m afraid of falling behind in my work. There is so much fear. And now that I’ve accepted those emotions, I can work with them, negotiate with them, and turn them into something productive and meaningful.
And if you’re feeling these emotions, you’re not alone. There is comfort in community and a shared, albeit terrible, experience. If you find yourself crying on the floor of your class, know that I’ve been there too.
Ultimately, the most important part of this experience was the fact that I eventually got up, dusted off my skirt, and fixed my mascara. I was a teacher.
Teacher self-care is complicated. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, but also, don’t forget that you are a teacher.
More Self-Care Resources
Looking for more posts about self-care and work-life balance? Check these posts out:
- Sustainable is My Word of the Year
- Confessions of a Recovering Teacher Martyr
- Anti-Resolutions: What We Can Give Up in the New Year
- 3 Ways to Find Peace of Mind When the World is in Pieces
