Last week, my school hosted parent-teacher conferences. As we were preparing to welcome parents and guardians, one of our new teachers asked me what to expect. How many parents would attend? How should teachers dress? Would dinner be provided? During this conversations, I realized there are several little tips and tricks teachers pick up over the years that make for a smoother conference experience.
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Before The Conference Begins
Begin early. Setting the stage for successful parent-teacher conferences begins long before conference night. One of my goals for this year was to make more positive parent contact. And each instance of positive parent contact makes for a smoother conference. I still have a long way to go in terms of meeting my goal. But positive contacts ahead of conference night can make the challenging aspects of conference night easier to manage. Additionally, if you have a concern for a student or see opportunities for growth, try to begin that conversation before conference night. Conference night should not be the first time you address a concern with parents. Here’s my favorite free tool for tracking parent contacts.
Seating arrangements. Before conferences begin, arrange seats so you will be on the same side of the table. This visually suggests to parents that you are all on the same side. Sitting behind a desk or at opposite ends of a table creates an adversarial atmosphere. This may seem like a little gesture. But if you can be proactive about this one detail, it will give you the opportunity to frame the conversation in a positive, collaborative manner. Read more about seating charts here.
During the Conference
Invite conversations. When you start proactive conversations with parents, conference night becomes another opportunity to continue the dialogue. Think of it as a formative assessment in determining how effectively you are leveraging parent-teacher relationships in favor of helping out a student. For this reason, when colleagues mention that they never see the parents they need to see at conferences, suggest they invite families into the conversation.
Be proactive. Similarly, if you know a challenging conversation is coming, be proactive and arrive with solutions. These could include tutoring opportunities, pre-planned intervention options, course recommendations, or appointments with counselors and coaches. While you want to honor parent concerns, and while you also want to listen to parent concerns, arriving with a few options ready to go shows parents that you are prepared, invested, and continually working for their student. You may not need all the items or solutions you prepare. But having a few planned options gives you room to say, “Here’s option x, and I can also look into y.” Even if you know the coming conversation is going to be a breeze, arriving with data, student work, student goals, or enrichment opportunities is an important part of continuing to build meaningful parent-teacher relationships.
Listen to listen. The science of listener attention indicates that in most conversations, we are listening to respond rather than listening to learn. In other words, instead of taking in someone else’s words, we’re continually thinking of our responses. While I encourage you to arrive to conferences prepared, I also want to encourage you to listen to parents. Sometimes they simply need to vent or simply need to know someone is listening. You may still end up offering your solutions and suggestions. But you also want to honor parent concerns and emotions. Dignify first.
Finishing Conferences
Provide a takeaway. Oftentimes the outcome of a parent-teacher conference is intangible. Sometimes it’s trying a new behavior system, staying the course, or trying a different modification. Providing parents with a tangible takeaway gives the conference some gravity and gives parents something to take home. The takeaway can be a grade report, a piece of student work, or an at-home literacy game.
Stand up. An uneasy silence can often fall over the end of a conference. I like to think that this happens because parents are waiting for the teacher (that’s you!) to dismiss them. When this happens, just stand up, offer a handshake, and see parents to the door. These gestures are easy and effortless but can make a world of difference.
Follow up as needed. Especially when a conference has been challenging or has led to a change in classroom behavior, a follow-up message is important. Sometimes the message is as simple as “I can see your student trying” or “The additional tutoring is really paying off!” In these cases, a positive message is an important step in that continually growing relationship. When conferences have not led to the desired outcome, a follow up becomes an important part of showing parents that you are not giving up on their student.
Trying virtual parent-teacher conferences? Check out all my tips and tricks for digital dialogue with parents!
When do you have conferences? What tips and tricks would you pass on to new teachers? Let us know in the comments!
